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Introduction!!!! - Condemnation of World Wide Association of Specialty Programs

Mar. 14th, 2005

09:00 pm - Introduction!!!!

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Oh my where to start! Ok well I am a "PURE HELL" grad....oh wait I mean Cross Creek! Hehe. I went in Jan. 11th 2001 and got out March 2nd 2003! Nice stay! I doubled my best friends stay...thats so sad! :-( Well my views on the program have changed a bit. When I first got out and people asked me about it my responds was usually like this "It was hard. But it saved my life. I am glad I went..." Blah blah blah... Then about a year later it was pretty much the same thing just I emphasized the HARD part. OK so my view now... I think the program did do a little good for me, but I also think it did more damage. Lets clarify the "good" parts. The good parts of the program: I made the best friends of my life there, I had great therapist (that sooooooooo does not include Dr. Seely or whatever the fuck that bastards name was! I still hate him!) Haha

Going a little off track but I just got to tell ya a little story about him... I was forced to see him after I dropped from level 4 the first time and by the end of our first visit I hated him. They kept making me see him for about 6 months even though I clearly stated that he reminded me of one person who molested me and it made me sick to my stomach to see him...they didn't give a shit though and I still had to see him. When I refused to talk to him he told me that if I didn't I would drop. Nice huh! So I talked but not exactly the way he wanted me to.... every other word was fuck you and other choice words that were illegal in the program... I called him so many things and just was a really big bitch... if any of you know me or saw me in the program you probably know what a bitch I could be to the staff. Not that I feel bad at all for it. Anyways so our last section I went in and he told me that we had done some tremendous work and that I was graduating from his therapy. Then he had the nerve to say he believed he had helped me a great deal in my program. He got up to shake me hand and I just looked at him straight in the eyes and told him something along the lines of this "You didn't help me a single fucking bit. In fact you made my program harder than it needed to be. Fuck you asshole." And that concludes the last section I had with him. Ya I still think its funny...but I guess ya had to be there.

Back to the good parts of the program. Well that was basically it... my friends and therapist. I dont know I was a fighter in the program till the very end. I told it like it was. I learned to stick up for myself because I got sick and tired of staff being rude and shit to us for no reason. I started a petition once (its personal so dont ask point is I started one) and I had all the high phase girls and STAFF sign it if they agreed with me. Guess what happened. A meeting with me and Ron and others was called... and I was told that if I didn't rip the petition up that every one who signed it would drop and the staff would get fired. IT WAS THE WHOLE HIGH PHASE FACILITY. What could I do..I had to rip it up. I was pissed but I was also on level 5 and soon to go home so I just shut my trap. They didn't just threaten me but they threatened the people I cared most about.

I was never abused physically in the sense of someone hitting me and such. I was taken down for no reason but the staff said that it was because I tried to throw a punch when I was just putting up my hands because I asked them not to touch me.

Ok wow I could go on forever about the program.... I'll just shut up about it for right now... till later...haha...cuz I have alot of shit to do.

I live on my own now in Tennessee. I have been here since May and now live in a house with my boyfriend!!!! I moved because I got kicked out of my house for doing coke (3X) and getting a tattoo. I am a cutter and I think I always will be.... I never really stopped... I was cutting on level 6 I just never told anyone... I was to the point where I would do and say anything just to get the hell out. I dont do drugs anymore...though I had a short period where I was smoking pot a bit...but I let go of that. Umm... My life is going good. I'm attending a university over here, have a house, getting a car soon, love my boyfriend and he loves me..ahhh... but there are still problems. I have a horrible image of myself and that stems from the program where I gained 30 pounds, got out lost it, and in the last 6 months gained 20...grrr... So I am actually starting therapy for that since I'm starting to get depressed again. Which really sucks ass! Oh I got kicked off the BBS for talking about my second tattoo... a dragon on my lower back... There reply when I asked why was "We try to teach the students that their body is a temple..." Yeah they make us fat! Hows that for a temple! Grrr... Alright I really am going to shut up now... Hey ask me questions if you want... I'm an honest open magical chil....just kidding....hehe... No but really I am pretty open about stuff. And I love to program bash!

Oh yeah my names Tatiana by the way and I am 19 now... hehe.. And my favorite color is blue! And my favorite random phrase is "Blue bellied martians are coming on leopard print asteroids!"

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: silence

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:fireincarnation
Date:April 19th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
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Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, but I've been out of town. This is Pamela Atkinson.

Your mom seemed really retticent to explain why you had left the house, but by the time you were out of the house, I had almost completely given up on going to the meetings. They were so superficial. Everyone was trying so hard to make it look like everything was going perfectly. I brought up some of my problems with the program and people looked at me like I was crazy.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with deciding to continue self-injury, or deciding to stop. I don't cut anymore, not because I grew out of it, but perhaps because I grew past it. Either way, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as you're careful.

I'm really curious what the petition was about. Is there any chance you could go into detail about it in an email?
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[User Picture]
From:not_a_bad_girl
Date:April 20th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC)

Ummm...

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I really am not comfortable going into what it was about.

To sum it up however...

I wasn't allowed to go somewhere (this was when I was at North) because of something I had done when I was a kid.

I thought this was wrong and at the time believed that it was the programs rule. So I wrote up a petition and started circulating it around.

Word got back to Ron about me doing this petition. And thats when me, Ron, and I believe one of the Glenda... I think B. but I'm not sure it was a while ago... I just remember Ron being there. Thats when they threatened me about it if I didn't rip it up... which I had to do right then...

It was in no way a physical threat...to me it was worst... the threat of staying longer and my friends also staying longer... and staff who I was friends with getting fired... I much rather would have preferred a beating! :-)

It was only after they threatened me with this that they explained to me that it wasn't their desision but the places rule for us being able to go there.

I still however believe that it was not right for them to threaten me. I wasn't trying to change it though that would have been nice... I was expressing myself and getting my point across. That certain things should not be held against you especially when the program teaches you to move on, forgive yourself, and... since Ron was the one who told me...and I quote "This will ever be held against you." I was in izo. at the time and it was when I first came to the program.

Haha... After he threatened me... I turned around and called him a liar and reminded him of our little talk in izo. Then to alls surprise he actually did apologise for lying... not for the threat though, but like I said before I kept my mouth shut on that one... I'd already been there two years and I wasn't about to be there any longer or keep people I cared about there longer either!
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[User Picture]
From:fireincarnation
Date:April 25th, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC)

Re: Ummm...

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I am still astounded at how much Rom lied to everyone. Thank you for sharing.
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From:disseddad
Date:December 30th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)

Investigating WWASP schools

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My son was sent to Horizon Academy by his mother in October of this year. I have begun to investigate Horizon and the WWASP and have noticed that they make claims including (a) having a vigorous curriculum, and (b) having therapists available to the students. Of course, none of their web sites offer the names and credentials of either their teachers or their therapists. I read somewhere in the anti-WWASP literature that there are no therapists employed at the programs, and if there were, they would be under a legal obligation to report any abuse--be it physical or psychological. Therefore, I am very curious about your posting because you mention that you had a very good relationship with one of your therapists. I am curious to know whether you discussed the seminar series with the therapist and what his or her take was on the seminars. Also, I am wondering how to find the credentials of the staff. Thank you for your time. I am sorry that you had to through this program and I hope that you recover from the bad parts of it. Good luck.
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