Introduction!!!! - Condemnation of World Wide Association of Specialty Programs
Mar. 14th, 2005
09:00 pm - Introduction!!!!
Oh my where to start! Ok well I am a "PURE HELL" grad....oh wait I mean Cross Creek! Hehe. I went in Jan. 11th 2001 and got out March 2nd 2003! Nice stay! I doubled my best friends stay...thats so sad! :-( Well my views on the program have changed a bit. When I first got out and people asked me about it my responds was usually like this "It was hard. But it saved my life. I am glad I went..." Blah blah blah... Then about a year later it was pretty much the same thing just I emphasized the HARD part. OK so my view now... I think the program did do a little good for me, but I also think it did more damage. Lets clarify the "good" parts. The good parts of the program: I made the best friends of my life there, I had great therapist (that sooooooooo does not include Dr. Seely or whatever the fuck that bastards name was! I still hate him!) Haha
Going a little off track but I just got to tell ya a little story about him... I was forced to see him after I dropped from level 4 the first time and by the end of our first visit I hated him. They kept making me see him for about 6 months even though I clearly stated that he reminded me of one person who molested me and it made me sick to my stomach to see him...they didn't give a shit though and I still had to see him. When I refused to talk to him he told me that if I didn't I would drop. Nice huh! So I talked but not exactly the way he wanted me to.... every other word was fuck you and other choice words that were illegal in the program... I called him so many things and just was a really big bitch... if any of you know me or saw me in the program you probably know what a bitch I could be to the staff. Not that I feel bad at all for it. Anyways so our last section I went in and he told me that we had done some tremendous work and that I was graduating from his therapy. Then he had the nerve to say he believed he had helped me a great deal in my program. He got up to shake me hand and I just looked at him straight in the eyes and told him something along the lines of this "You didn't help me a single fucking bit. In fact you made my program harder than it needed to be. Fuck you asshole." And that concludes the last section I had with him. Ya I still think its funny...but I guess ya had to be there.
Back to the good parts of the program. Well that was basically it... my friends and therapist. I dont know I was a fighter in the program till the very end. I told it like it was. I learned to stick up for myself because I got sick and tired of staff being rude and shit to us for no reason. I started a petition once (its personal so dont ask point is I started one) and I had all the high phase girls and STAFF sign it if they agreed with me. Guess what happened. A meeting with me and Ron and others was called... and I was told that if I didn't rip the petition up that every one who signed it would drop and the staff would get fired. IT WAS THE WHOLE HIGH PHASE FACILITY. What could I do..I had to rip it up. I was pissed but I was also on level 5 and soon to go home so I just shut my trap. They didn't just threaten me but they threatened the people I cared most about.
I was never abused physically in the sense of someone hitting me and such. I was taken down for no reason but the staff said that it was because I tried to throw a punch when I was just putting up my hands because I asked them not to touch me.
Ok wow I could go on forever about the program.... I'll just shut up about it for right now... till later...haha...cuz I have alot of shit to do.
I live on my own now in Tennessee. I have been here since May and now live in a house with my boyfriend!!!! I moved because I got kicked out of my house for doing coke (3X) and getting a tattoo. I am a cutter and I think I always will be.... I never really stopped... I was cutting on level 6 I just never told anyone... I was to the point where I would do and say anything just to get the hell out. I dont do drugs anymore...though I had a short period where I was smoking pot a bit...but I let go of that. Umm... My life is going good. I'm attending a university over here, have a house, getting a car soon, love my boyfriend and he loves me..ahhh... but there are still problems. I have a horrible image of myself and that stems from the program where I gained 30 pounds, got out lost it, and in the last 6 months gained 20...grrr... So I am actually starting therapy for that since I'm starting to get depressed again. Which really sucks ass! Oh I got kicked off the BBS for talking about my second tattoo... a dragon on my lower back... There reply when I asked why was "We try to teach the students that their body is a temple..." Yeah they make us fat! Hows that for a temple! Grrr... Alright I really am going to shut up now... Hey ask me questions if you want... I'm an honest open magical chil....just kidding....hehe... No but really I am pretty open about stuff. And I love to program bash!
Oh yeah my names Tatiana by the way and I am 19 now... hehe.. And my favorite color is blue! And my favorite random phrase is "Blue bellied martians are coming on leopard print asteroids!"